I don’t like to repeat things, so listen carefully the first six times
Hi, I just noticed you lookin at me across the room..I’ll give u a minute to catch ur breath
I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it
God bless Atheism
I have a picture of u, I think its very nice, I put it under my bed… 2 scare away the mice!
I drink to make other people interesting
Everyone likes a little ass, but no one likes a smart ass
I am on the seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!
I aint guilty, im just not innocent! ![]()
Hate: A special kind of love given to people who suck
First law of science: don’t spit into the wind
Fat people are harder to kidnap
Everybody has the right to be stupid but your breaking the rules!
Even though the voices in my head aren’t real they have some good ideas!
English! Who needs that? I’m never going to England!
Earth first. We’ll screw up the other planets later
Drinking is the answer, I don’t remember the question
Dont worry who I am just Type
Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey!
Do you got with me get lost? I know the way
Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?
Do blind eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?
Damn right I’m good in bed i can sleep for hours!
Dain Bramaged.
Coffee, Chocolate, Men – some things are just better rich
Cancel my subscription…I’m over your issues
Can I get your picture? I collect nature disasters
An unfortunate person is one tries to fart but shits instead
Can I borrow your library card? I wanna check u out!
Behind every successful woman, is a man who is surprised
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
Be selfish just once… If your upset, take someone elses life instead of your own!
Be kool.. Dont go to school ![]()
A man that has never lied to a woman has no respect for her feelings
Be a Minimalist. It’s the least you can do
Ass, Grass, or Gas: everybody’s gotta pay
As long as my boss pretends that I’m earning much, I’m pretending that I work hard
Anarchists of the world, unite!
An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if hes cute screw the fruit.
An answer to that nagging question…………… I let the dogs out!
All racists who are prepared to die for their country, why not now?
After working here, I now realize that “Dilbert” is not a comic strip. It’s a documentary
Act your age, not your shoe size!
A miserable person is one who truly enjoys a fart but can’t
>> I am nobody, no body is perfect, therefore i am perfect!
My darling my love, my beautiful wife. Marrying you screwed up my life :S
24 hours in a day … 24 beers in a case … coincidence? I think not
…and i should care, why?
-=Hard work pays off later, laziness pays off now!!=-
(Front Bumper) If you can read this, I didn’t hit you hard enough.
If you dont like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk.
8)roll roll roll ur joint, gently down the line, take a toke, inhale dat smoke, and blow ur friggin mind!
The Rain Makes Everything Beautiful, Grass, Flowers, Trees etc..If rain makes all thing beautiful than y does it not fall on U ?
The funny thing about Common sense is that it’s not very common.
May your life be like toilet paper – long and useful!
Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway.
Don’t be open-minded, your brains might fall out.
She got her good looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
Passwords are like underwear: change them often.
If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
One day, I don’t hate you, I just need someone to take my anger out on.
If my car was a horse, I would have to shoot it!
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
I’m cool, I’m hot….I’m everything you’re not.
For all you who talk about me, thanks for making ME the center of YOUR world!
Can I get your picture? I collect nature disasters.
For all you who talk about me, thanks for making ME the center of YOUR world!
I’m fat, but your ugly. I can diet.
I aint guilty, im just not innocent! ![]()
I am on the seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!
You may laugh because I’m different but I laugh because you’re all the same.
English! Who needs that? I’m never going to England!
I’m not smiling at you, I’m trying not to laugh!
When I’m good, I’m really good, but when I’m bad I’m better.
I’ve lost my phone number, can I have yours?
We both know I’m the best, that’s why you never tell me.
I know that you know that I know that you think I’m the best, that’s why you never tell me.
Never wish on 1 star more than once cause your luck ALWAYS runs out!
If electricty comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
You’re looking at perfection, and it ain’t you!
The more I learn, the more I forget. So why would I learn?
When you judge others you dont define them you define yourself.. ![]()
Everybody has the right to be stupid but your breaking the rules!
You’re unique, just like everyone else….
(L)(L)(L)DrOwNiNg in your LoVe(L)(L)(L)
(L)(F)(*)FaLLin(*)(F)(L)
(K)~>,(L)Love YOU(L),<~(K)
(K)(*)BaBy(L) U mEaN the W(#)rLd 2 mE(*)(K)
(f)(w)Absense makes the heart(L) grow fonder(w)(f)
(*)§ë×îlì¢îôüs(*)
(*)(l)how the ?HeLL? could I not (k)WaNt(k)U(l)(*)
(*)(L)(K)HoldMe(K)(L)(*)
(*)(A)(G)(L)all I want for ChRiStMaS is (k)U(L)(G)(A)(*)
(*)(*)StAr 69(*)(*)
(*)(#):STeMpErMeNtAl:S(#)(*)
(*)(#)(*)U will (k)aLwAyS(k) B my (l)baby(l)(*)(#)(*)
True Love is like ghosts, Everyone talks about, But very few have seen.
You can fall in the water, you can fall off a tree but the best way to fall is to fall in love with me.
Love is like heaven but it can hurt like hell.































