*I don’t like to repeat things, so listen carefully the first six times
*Hi, I just noticed you lookin at me across the room..I’ll give u a minute to catch ur breath
*I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it
*God bless Atheism
*I have a picture of u, I think its very nice, I put it under my bed… 2 scare away the mice!
*I drink to make other people interesting
*Everyone likes a little ass, but no one likes a smart ass
*I am on the seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!
*I aint guilty, im just not innocent! ![]()
*Hate: A special kind of love given to people who suck
*First law of science: don’t spit into the wind
*Fat people are harder to kidnap
*Everybody has the right to be stupid but your breaking the rules!
*Even though the voices in my head aren’t real they have some good ideas!
*English! Who needs that? I’m never going to England!
*Earth first. We’ll screw up the other planets later
*Drinking is the answer, I don’t remember the question
*Dont worry who I am just Type
*Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey!
*Do you got with me get lost? I know the way
*Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?
*Do blind eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?
*Damn right I’m good in bed i can sleep for hours!
*Dain Bramaged.
*Coffee, Chocolate, Men – some things are just better rich
*Cancel my subscription…I’m over your issues
*Can I get your picture? I collect nature disasters
*An unfortunate person is one tries to fart but shits instead
*Can I borrow your library card? I wanna check u out!
*Behind every successful woman, is a man who is surprised
*Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife
*Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
*Be selfish just once… If your upset, take someone elses life instead of your own!
*Be kool.. Dont go to school ![]()
*A man that has never lied to a woman has no respect for her feelings
*Be a Minimalist. It’s the least you can do
*Ass, Grass, or Gas: everybody’s gotta pay
*As long as my boss pretends that I’m earning much, I’m pretending that I work hard
*Anarchists of the world, unite!
*An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work
*An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if hes cute screw the fruit.
*An answer to that nagging question…………… I let the dogs out!
*All racists who are prepared to die for their country, why not now?
*After working here, I now realize that “Dilbert” is not a comic strip. It’s a documentary
*Act your age, not your shoe size!
*A miserable person is one who truly enjoys a fart but can’t
*>> I am nobody, no body is perfect, therefore i am perfect! ![]()
*:) My darling my love, my beautiful wife. Marrying you screwed up my life :S
*24 hours in a day … 24 beers in a case … coincidence? I think not
*…and i should care, why?
*-=Hard work pays off later, laziness pays off now!!=-
*(Front Bumper) If you can read this, I didn’t hit you hard enough.
*If you dont like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk.
*8)roll roll roll ur joint, gently down the line, take a toke, inhale dat smoke, and blow ur friggin mind!
*The Rain Makes Everything Beautiful, Grass, Flowers, Trees etc..If rain makes all thing beautiful than y does *it not fall on U ?
*The funny thing about Common sense is that it’s not very common.
*May your life be like toilet paper – long and useful!
*Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway.
*Don’t be open-minded, your brains might fall out.
*She got her good looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
*Passwords are like underwear: change them often.
*If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
*One day, I don’t hate you, I just need someone to take my anger out on.
*If my car was a horse, I would have to shoot it!
*On the other hand, you have different fingers.
*Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
*Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?
*I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
*I’m cool, I’m hot….I’m everything you’re not.
*For all you who talk about me, thanks for making ME the center of YOUR world!
*Can I get your picture? I collect nature disasters.
*For all you who talk about me, thanks for making ME the center of YOUR world!
*I’m fat, but your ugly. I can diet.
*I aint guilty, im just not innocent! ![]()
*I am on the seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!
*You may laugh because I’m different but I laugh because you’re all the same.
*English! Who needs that? I’m never going to England!
*I’m not smiling at you, I’m trying not to laugh!
*When I’m good, I’m really good, but when I’m bad I’m better.
*I’ve lost my phone number, can I have yours?
*We both know I’m the best, that’s why you never tell me.
*I know that you know that I know that you think I’m the best, that’s why you never tell me.
*Never wish on 1 star more than once cause your luck ALWAYS runs out!
*If electricty comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
*You’re looking at perfection, and it ain’t you!
*The more I learn, the more I forget. So why would I learn?
*When you judge others you dont define them you define yourself.. ![]()
*Everybody has the right to be stupid but your breaking the rules!
*You’re unique, just like everyone else….































